The Absurdity

WE ARE INDOCTRINATED CREATURES. There is no such thing as originality as one would conveniently put it. Everything that we know are inherited,empirically tested/verified..and believed. We see what we want, believe what we want.

CONVICTIONS. A personified certainty, self-validating/justifying objectivity. It lacks external criticism and could potentially fall into the domain of fallacy. Again who are we to decide which is true and false?

All our senses of truth and fallacy are INHERITED from the old ones whom we TRUST and think that they might know better. That being said, could there be any objectivity at all?

Absolute truth? Anyone? Is 1+1 really equals to 2? Or is it simply how we WANT and decide to see it?

It is driving me to insanity. I don't think I'm cut out to solve this.

DENIAL. It's my perfect shelter.

I had many conversations with different people talking about how disappointed they are when their christian friends failed them. It seems that there are some sort of expectations to be met. And those expectations have become part of the culture and fellowship. It has sort of become a benchmark for one to be qualified as a "good" christian. In fact, it is common for christians to behave accordingly to show that christians are a bunch of good people where such behaviour stems from the love of God. So much for the hypocrisy.

Christian should be "outrightly shameful'(a term borrowed from a friend).

Don't forget that Peter denied Jesus three times. That's a crime that deserves damnation, an eternal one. We never seemed to blame Peter. But we blame and grudge at someone who is late to church, late to worship practices, and those who fail to keep their promises. That's the double standard that christians are endorsing.

Jesus was never disappointed with Peter when he deny Him. He should have been disappointed much earlier when Jesus was foretelling his denial. Clearly the son of Man was in no mood for despair,but lavished His acceptance on the Rock that He dearly loved.Christianity is badly abused. So does the Gospel. It has failed to represent Jesus, I believe. To be even more heretical, I think perhaps Christianity was something Jesus never really intended. An appendage to what is already self-sufficient.

The labelling of good and bad christian certainly do not help at all in bringing the people closer to the spirit of Christ. The only advantage, as C.S. Lewis puts it, is that only christians know that they are the fallen creature in a fallen world.

It will forever be an illusive dream to have all "good" christians. Assholes ("bad" christians) will be everywhere. They are born every second. Stop forcing them to behave. Stop acting as if you are a better. Remember that you were once an asshole. Perhaps even until now.

A Common Destiny for All

...all share common destiny- the righteous and the wicked, the good and the bad, the clean and unclean, those who offer sacrifice and those who do not...this is the evil in everything that happens under the sun: the same destiny overtakes all. The hearts of men, moreover are full of evil and there is madness in their heart while they live, and afterward they join the dead. Anyone who is among the living has hope-even a live dog is better off than a dead lion! -Ecclesiastes Chapter 9

People argue and complain about life being unfair. They protest against injustice, they retaliate against subdued rights and prevailing evil. For those who believe in God and judgement, it is a predisposition that they (wrongly) feel more vindicated at the day of judgement. Maybe that is the only thing they can feel more superior about.

The only thing that is fair, is death.

It connects all humanity.

Wouldn't us be silly if we were to invest so much time in grudging others' fate and make ourselves even more depressed?

The only reality for humanity is death. Death invites us to think about the possibilities if we could be a better human then.

What is then, our summum bonum (supreme good)?

All these-injustice, unfairness..etc are reduced to none in death.

Yet we can take joy that in life there is hope. Hope that has every chance to turn into reality. Hope is something that defines us. It reveals the limited capacity of human where things are not in control by men, both good and evil.

To some, hope is flaccid. It is a superfluous addition to life. Men become even more disillusioned in it. They find it hard to eat the fact that men can live with hope. They find it even harder to comprehend it.

Someone used to ask that what if there is really no hope at the end of life? Wouldn't it be total despair for someone to realise that hope is only a false dream after all?

For me, it's better to have hope when I live. It's a worthy investment if it turns to reality; it costs us none even if it doesn't. There won't be frustration because I'm dead anyway.

It's a win-win situation.

...I have a... this.. really conflicted relationship with what people often mean when they say the word worship...because what we've done is tending to develop a worship industry..and then we develop this clientele...who are sophisticated consumers of worship products..and pre-fabricated worship experiences...and umm....owh...it's just a rat race because I meet so many of worship, co-worship leaders who are paid to help people in this, but the people come like with their check list-"I didn't feel...you know, out of scale from 0 to 10, i only got the feeling to a 6 today...the Holy Spirit's not here...". And they put all these pressure on the worship leader to deliver us a certain experience, and a certain high...ahh...and it's just maddening because if the people start playing that game, then they have to web everybody into a frenzy, becomes manipulated, it becomes propaganda. and there is a huge difference between propaganda and art. there's something about art that says, "look, I'm telling the truth, as I see it." And the truth today might not be pretty. The truth today might be "I don't even feel like God is real". And we can't handle that. But the bible can handle that. the bible gives us the book of Job, the book of Ecclesiastes...the bible tells us that at the very moment when the disciples are encountering the risen Christ, in Matthew 28...and some doubted. So doubt is part of this thing as well as faith. and there is a beautiful beautiful honesty about art. and when you are honest about the ugliness of life, that's beautiful thing. it's strange. it's paradoxical. but when you try to make everything pretty, it ends up seeming really cheap. and this is one of the great needs that we have...is how can we let ourselves be people of the God of truth and rediscover truthfulness and honesty about our relationship with God. God can handle it. sometimes we can't. but we all be a lot better off if we can...so, if it's a song, it's a painting, it's a architecture, it's a film that really is reaching for the truth, that's where I think we are experiencing God. but if we try to market God like He's a infomercial, it makes God seemed less real....                                                                         -Brian D. Mclaren

Everyone was celebrating the coming of 2008. It is a time when people make resolutions and hope for the best to come. Yet none would have expected 2008 in Malaysia to be greeted by a bizarre news-a minister cum "actor" has confessed of his sexual affairs with a women as shown in the video that is widely circulated recently. I am totally flabbergasted. Such ominous fate that plagued our nation last year is still comfortably making its way to this year. The timing is just too freaking perfect. I think I will vote this as "The Biggest Prank for 2008". And kudos to the voyeurs from the bottom of my heart. Not that I am justifying the crime of taping the video, but they would not have gotten anything if this man never do things against his conscience. It's karma.

2007 was the year when Malaysia, Truly Asia becomes an international laughing stock. From Nazri Aziz's brainless "pondan" tirade to Zam's incompetent "Manglish" antics in response to the Al-Jazeera anchorwoman, indeed our politicians say the darnest thing. And from sending a space tourist to ISS to eat Kajang satay, stopping a peaceful rally, demolishing a Hindu temple to the banning of the word "Allah" in local papers and translated bible despite years of legal publication,it's really been an unforgettable year.

This is the Boleh...Oops sorry, Bodohland that we are living in.

Enough venting my spleen. I still love this country despite all these dramas. This is the place where I was born, and also the place where I will return to dust. Nothing can rob my heart for this country.

I feel sorry for that minister. I feel that he had enough of spanking from the public. Good thing he confessed his sin and dare enough to apologise. It takes lots of guts to do that. The Star(MCA-owned) has swiftly published a few articles as the last bet trying to reverse his stained image and reputation before anything goes too wrong. In vain, I suppose.

Morning. It's still the same shit. But there's still plenty of time for us to rectify the problem.